Court ordered child support for minor children is a non-debatable issue. The kids need support. The dollar amount is typically an issue of concern but the average adult realizes that it takes money to raise children. The question on the table is how should the payment of the child support be handled: via the courts or a mutual agreement?

If you have a child support order, payments can be sent directly to the mother or they can be processed through the local child support office. There are arguments for either method of payment. Just remember, at the end of the day, payment must be made and children provided for.

Consider the following questions if you are struggling with proceeding through the child support office or not.

1. Was a payment withheld or reduced for a reason that had nothing to do with the kids?
2. Are you arguing about the amount of ordered payments?
3. Was the amount or timing of payment not consistent with what was ordered and there was no communication from the non-custodial parent?
4. Do you go to sleep wondering if payment will be made or not?
5. Are there any disagreements about any amounts owed?
6. Are there any unnecessary conversations about how the money is used?
7. Do you trust that the non-custodial parent is going to pay you?
8. Do you need the money when it is due?
9. If the non-custodial is behind, do you agree on the past due amount and is there an agreed upon plan for them to catch up?
10. Does the non-custodial parent threaten to decrease or stop payment for whatever reason?

Lots to consider. If you don’t experience any of these issues, then please continue business as usual. If you have experienced an issue, lost sleep at night or continue to worry about the payment, you may want to consider letting your local child support office take the burden; you have other issues to worry about. Choose what you feel is right for you.

Let’s make an argument for why the payments should be processed through the local office.

1. Accurate record keeping.
2. Avoids conflict surrounding money that was paid or not paid. See #1 .
3. Payments are sent via a ‘middle person/organization” to the custodial parent.
4. Personal accountability: either you paid or you didn’t. See #1.
5. Avoids arguments about how much was paid, when paid and the method of payment. See #1.
6. Eliminates money conversations with the non-custodial parent. Focus is placed on the children.
7. Calculates late payments.

A lot of mature adults can avoid going through the courts if the non-custodial parent is consistent with payments and keeps the lines of communication open.

Let’s explore why one does not want to go through the local office.

1. The government is now in the business of making sure you pay what you have been ordered to pay.
2. Time consuming if you don’t have the ability to pay online.
3. No one should be forced to take care of their children.
4. If you fall behind on payments, even if it’s no fault of your own, past due accruals can cause suspension in the driver’s license, aggressive collection efforts, tax return diversion, etc.
5. It feels a little degrading to have to go to an office and be held accountable to do the right thing.

You have to do what is right for you, the relationship with the non-custodial parent and what is right for the kids.

There is no cookie cutter answer, however I asked myself the above questions and considered the pros and cons. At the end of the day, I did what was right for the kids.

KEEP IN MIND: Filing a claim does not guarantee that you are going to receive payment from the non-custodial parent. However, you don’t have to worry about communicating about the issue. The child enforcement office will handle all of that for you.

Child support by the non-custodial parent is a reality and both parties should realize that it’s a necessity. Choose your path.

~Elle Camille