In July I found myself in the ER after an unfortunate accident. I was unable to walk and the oldest child had to drive me to the ER, get a wheelchair and push me around. I initially thought: “I am not ready for this look. I am too young and not ready for someone else to take care of me. I need to heal quickly.”

The nurse asked me the usual questions: Name, address, insurance, allergies etc and I was happy to report that my oldest was able to answer the questions for me. I was tired, falling asleep and in pain. When I left the ER with crutches, I was glad about the following:

•  The oldest knows more about me than just my name.
• The oldest knows my medical history (well a little).
• The oldest was willing, without hesitation, to come and get her mommy and take her to the ER.

I was doing something right.

The next day before the meds kicked in I then began to wonder. If something tragic had happened to me, would the kids know what to do? Who would the kids call? Who would take care of the kids? Do they know my wishes?

Do I have enough life insurance?
Is my paperwork in order?
Can the family find my paperwork?

Very important questions that should have a positive answer in the event of death or a real emergency.

Well my answer is yes and no.

I have a will, trust, healthcare directive and power of attorney. I also have life insurance. However, all documents are 10 years old and were executed when I was happily married. In addition, I have moved and paper work is scattered.

I better get my files together.

Let’s be honest. No one wants to think about their demise or possible disability. However, we know that death is inevitable and we must prepare accordingly. It’s unfair to those left behind if we don’t prepare.

Who do you want to take care of kids?
Who do you want to get your “stuff”?
What are your wishes in the event you are on a respirator?

My mother passed away approximately 10 years ago. The paperwork after her death was not stressful because her paperwork was in order and her wishes were clearly known and properly documented. I want the same for my kids.

I AN NOT AN ATTORNEY. Please seek legal advice. Below is a list of basic documents (with definitions) that everyone should have executed.

– Wills:  A will or testament is a legal document by which a person, the testator, expresses their wishes as to how their property is to be distributed at death, and names one or more persons, the executor, to manage the estate until its final distribution.

– Advanced healthcare directive: An advance healthcare directive, also known as living will, personal directive, advance directive, medical directive or advance decision, is a legal document in which a person specifies what actions should be taken for their health if they are no longer able to make decisions for themselves because of illness or incapacity. In the U.S. it has a legal status in itself, whereas in some countries it is legally persuasive without being a legal document.

Elle’s definition: Informs the medical community of those persons who they can discuss your medical care with and informs the medical community of your wishes such as remaining on life support or not.

– Power of attorney

The health care power of attorney is a document in which you designate someone to be your representative, or agent, in the event you are unable to make or communicate decisions about all aspects of your health care.

A power of attorney (POA) or letter of attorney is a written authorization to represent or act on another’s behalf in private affairs, business, or some other legal matter, sometimes against the wishes of the other. The person authorizing the other to act is the principal, grantor, or donor (of the power).

Elle’s definition: Someone can act on your behalf if you are incapacitated.

An additional document that is work having but not necessary is a trust.

– Living Trust A living trust (sometimes called an “inter vivos” or “revocable” trust) is a written legal document through which your assets are placed into a trust for your benefit during your lifetime and then transferred to designated beneficiaries at your death by your chosen representative, called a “successor trustee.”

Difference between a will and a trust: One main difference between a will and a trust is that a will goes into effect only after you die, while a trust takes effect as soon as you create it. A will is a document that directs who will receive your property at your death and it appoints a legal representative to carry out your wishes.

If you don’t have the basic legal documents please find an attorney to draft up the paperwork so those left behind know what your wishes are. If you have paper work, review and revise. After a divorce, add this to your check list of items. Take your time but be diligent.

Is your paperwork in order?

Don’t burden those left behind.

~Elle Camille